I’ve been spending too much time lately deleting spam comments before they see the light of day on this blog and have a chance to spread malware.#phishing

I need to get a better spam filter on WordPress, but in the meantime, I can’t help marveling at the ability of spambots to sound remarkably like Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd’s “wild and crazy” Festrunk brothers trying to butter up some “American foxes!”

A few choice verbatim excerpts before I delete them permanently:

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Or, how about:

Extra people have to read this and comprehend this side of the story. I cant think youre not extra preferred simply because you surely have the gift.

And my favorite:

Massive thumb up for this weblog post!

Which is worse, that the NRA wants an “active” mental illness database or that 38 states already have one?

 The Italians have come a long way since they imprisoned Galileo for heresy, but today’s absurd verdict goes too far, assuming scientists can predict the future. Galileo’s apocryphal muttering, “And yet it moves” takes on new meaning.

 Take a good look. This is the only time in my life I will post a picture of my breast on the Internet. When I went for the dreaded and overdue mammogram, I decided to pop for the newish tomosynthesis procedure, which produces three-dimensional views of breast tissue. Can you tell which is which? The conventional 2D image is on the left; a 3D slice, composed of multiple exposures at different angles, is on the right.

To a layperson, the 2D image might look sharper, but the 3D one tells a more complete story. This better visualization helps doctors spot abnormalities that might be hiding under overlapping tissue, aiding early detection, and reduces callbacks for more testing (or biopsies) because doctors can better distinguish harmless abnormalities from tumors. Although FDA-approved, this procedure is not covered by most insurance companies, including mine, so Washington Radiology Associates charges a nominal fee of $50. Even though my medical history does not put me in the high-risk category, falling into the the modern “what if” paranoia trap of high-tech health care, I thought, what the heck; that seems like a cheap date if it saves my life, right? If you figure that each 1mm slice of a breast is composed of up to 200 digital exposures, that works out to pennies per picture. Even less when you consider that this cutting-edge equipment takes conventional 2D and the new 3D images simultaneously.

My results were “benign with no signs of breast cancer.” That’s comforting, but I do find it disconcerting that this procedure exposes women to slightly more radiation than the 2D version alone. And can’t someone invent a contraption that does not subject women to the pain and indignity of having their breast squashed like a panini? As it turns out, someone has. In researching this story, I came across an alternative technology invented a few years ago called computed ultrasound risk evaluation. CURE (such a convenient acronym) does not use radiation, lasts one minute, and is completely pain-free. With the breast suspended in water, ultrasound sensors transmits sound waves through the water and measure how those waves travel through the breast tissue, generating computer images that help doctors pinpoint problem areas. One patient quoted on Science Daily described it as relaxing, like “a little sauna” on the breast. Given that the discomfort of mammograms deters many women from their recommended annual or biannual test, it’s perplexing that the medical establishment has not embraced this technology as well.

If you need a remote-controlled toilet that lights up, plays music, and warms your tush and feet, you’re spending entirely too much time on the can. I assume the couple in Kohler’s Numi video must be headed out for a big night in their dueling Cialis tubs.